Caregiving · Energy Healing · Health · Journal · Misc

Too many forks, not enough spoons

I came up with that phrase a few years ago (or whenever it was that I read the fork theory), and it so applies to my life right now. Lots of responsibilities (many of which I am simply letting drop to the wayside, though they need to be taken care of), and worry, so much worry. I’m stressed beyond words because it looks like there’s absolutely no way I can avoid re-entering the workforce, even though that pitchfork will send me crashing. And that means the physical pain (especially the new one) will cause issues that most likely will cause me to lose yet another job, and the thought of all of it has me on edge and running out of spoons almost before I even get out of bed (thanks, kitty, and your “I’m awake, why aren’t you, the sun is almost up and I need to be fed even though there’s food in my bowl” meowing every morning).

Photo by Dids on Pexels.com Not my cat

I keep pretending something magical will happen and my schedule will be filled with retainer plans, and lots of 3-session packages, and everything will be fine. In reality, unless I win the lottery, I’m screwed. The clock is ticking and I can’t avoid what must be done anymore. The thought makes me want to scream and burst into tears because being let go from a job due to your body rebelling against whatever the hell it’s rebelling against makes a person feel like a failure. And means more frickin’ interviews, pushing myself to be extroverted when I’m far from it, and the whole damned merry-go-round. Again.

Then there’s the caregiver worries, such as what if he falls while I’m at work? What if he’s having one of the days where he can barely get out of bed or walk? How will he eat when he can’t make it to the kitchen? What if it’s a good day and he decides to go into the garage and hurts himself trying to do something he still thinks he can do no problem, but it leaves him immobilized for days, and I have to leave him alone for those days?

No wonder I can’t sleep lately. That and the fact that the minute I get comfortable and start to fall asleep, my legs decide it’s party time. Sigh.

Luckily I’ve been able to distract myself a bit with a Firefly marathon, lots of reading, and 3 sessions for someone with chronic migraines. Today (Sunday) is her last session. She’s away from home, so I haven’t been able to check in and see how it’s going on her end, but I know the energetic flow is really strong on mine.

I hope you’re all doing ok!

With hope and love,

Pip 🌻✨

PS: all 30-minute sessions (except for the Retainer Plan) are still 45-minutes for the same price until the end of May! Get your session(s) here!

PPS: I’m trying very hard to live by this quote I found recently (and foolishly didn’t write down who said/wrote it or what book it was in):

Bring me peace with what comes,

and until it comes,

peace with what is.

Journal · Misc

A Couple of Questions

Photo by Anna Shvets on Pexels.com

Linktree has a lot of link options and I’m curious: what messaging app do you use the most that doesn’t share your phone number? Telegram (you can change it in the settings to a username)? Skype? Zoom?

Also, for payments; Venmo or PayPal?

Or do you prefer email?

I’m looking for something quicker than waiting for someone to check back into Twitter or IG, and while I love Signal SO much, it shares your phone number.

What do you think?

Thanks!

Pip 🌻

©Pip Miller – August 2021

Journal · Misc

How Osa is Doing

She moves every time I try to take her picture!

Her surgery went great, and she has to wear the hated cone for a couple weeks. Brief walks a few times daily, moist heat on the incision, massages a few times a day, and range-of-motion exercises.

Couple all that with the fact that she absolutely refuses to go the bathroom in the front yard which necessitates this process:

1: leash her, take her out and tie her to a porch post.

2: Let the other two dogs into the kitchen.

3: Open the garage and take down the barrier between the dogs’ side and the rest of the garage.

4: Untie Osa, take her out back and let her do her thing.

5: Reverse the process.

….sometimes…sometimes…I go through the whole thing for her to walk outside and pee for literally 2 seconds. Two. It takes longer to get the leash on her wiggly ass!

Then we walk around the front yard a few times to get in her exercise, and then it’s back inside. She tries to avoid having the cone put on, and looks really bummed out when it is, but every now and again she tries to lick the incision and we can’t have that. The myth that dogs’ mouths are cleaner than humans’ is, of course, total BS. They eat poop, for Pete’s sake!

None of the dogs are happy about the separation, but she can’t be anywhere near them because the plate in her leg may become dislodged if it gets bumped, and the biggest dog most likely would do that. She can’t see them, either, but she gets so excited she wiggles all over and will mess up the leg. So solitary, of sorts, confinement for at least a month.

I’ve been pretty stressed during all this and worked myself into a fibro flare. Go, me. *sigh*

I’m really, really grateful to everyone who donated for her surgery! It really helped, more than you’ll know. And I get to help people feel better, too!

I hope May is going well for you! We actually had a downpour the other day!!! It was so overdue, and not nearly enough moisture, but we’ll take every drop we can get. The plants loved it. 🙂

Much love,

Pip 🙂

©Pip Miller – May 2021

I’m on Bloglovin’.

Books · Journal · Misc

Podcasts: fan or no?

Photo by SCREEN POST on Pexels.com

I haven’t been a fan, but I needed something to help with that little voice in my head, and I didn’t want to dive back into audiobooks. So podcasts.

I’ve found some I like, and some that while I want to hear the content, drive me nuts because the podcaster invites guests to discuss things, but then interrupts and talks about ‘me, me, me’ over and over again. If that’s what you’re going to do, do like Leonie Dawson and just ramble whatever comes to mind and skip the guests. It works great for her.

Do you have any podcasts you really enjoy? Let me know so I can give them a try!

Oh, speaking of audiobooks, if you haven’t listen to Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer. The book is soooooooooooooooo good, so timely, and her voice is amazing. I’m not linking to Amazon, because not everyone uses Audible, and Bezos donated to The Rule of Law, which funded the Capitol takeover. You can listen to it on Hoopla if you’d prefer. I love Hoopla.

We’ve got a storm coming in, which usually means we don’t get much precipitation, but everywhere around us does. It’s cold, though. January cold. Which is nice because I’ve been walking around in short-sleeves and we’ve had the front door open almost every day. Even in the high desert, this isn’t normal for January.

I spent the day running a few errands, picked up The Starless Sea at a local bookstore (the blurb had me at “…a mysterious book…”, and sending light. The light was for a gamut of ailments, and it was, as always, amazing to be able to help people (and Crackers the horse) feel better, even if it’s only for a while.

It was a good day.

How was yours?

Much love,

Pip 🙂

©Pip Miller – January 2021

Books · Energy Healing · Journal · Misc · Planners

Choosing A Word For 2021

Picking a guiding word for the year is something I’ve done for a while now. Last year I decided to go with a feeling, lighthearted, and quite frankly, this year has left the vast majority of us feeling anything but, am I right?

Normally I just wait til a word pops into my head that feels right, and I go with that. Thing is, I also don’t really do anything to help that word along. Not this year!

I use Passion Planners, which come with a Roadmap to help you focus on and achieve your goal. December hit me hard and I’ve been super depressed. Rereading The Desire Map seemed the thing to do, and Bing! Lightbulb! Feelings, not goals. How do I want to feel next year and more importantly, how can I make it happen? I dropped the gamechanger part of it, choosing instead to focus on all 4 important emotions that compromised my core desired feeling: Light.

It’s not easy finding a picture to represent what I mean by light…

Light? Didn’t I choose lighthearted last year? I did. Is there a difference? Honestly, not much. The world is too heavy right now, and as any empath can tell you, it’s suffocating. Anything that isn’t heavy is how I want to feel, so light, light-hearted…same difference.

I scribbled all over my current planner’s Roadmap, which I never filled out, sifting through words and what would help me feel light, and finally, finally, narrowed it down to Delight, Comforted (a big one), Peaceful, and the hardest one to pin down, Financially Secure and Independent. I’d first chosen “like I make a difference”, and that is a part of it, but mostly I want to work for myself, helping others feel better. Which is a way to make a difference, so yay.

Then came the important part. What will help me feel each of those 4 feelings? Under Comforted I have “my journal, fleece as much as possible (soft soothes me), special treats such as hot chocolate and ice cream”. Nothing major, but little things I can focus on weekly to make sure I stay in the Light lane and don’t veer off into the No Eating for a Week and All I Want to Do is Sleep lane again. I’m still not out of that one yet, to be honest.

I’m still fine-tuning it and haven’t transferred it to my new planner. I feel good about it. I hope next year is better because of it.

Do you choose a word? What method do you use to do so, and have you ever felt the need to repeat one because it means so much to you? Let’s chat in the comments! I’m curious how others go about this.

Happy Yule!!!!

With hope and much love,

Pip 😎

©Pip Miller – December 2020

Energy Healing · Journal · Misc

Feeling for the Year

Danielle LaPorte is big, very big, on living your life intentionally with feelings as your guide. So this year, instead of a word to guide me, I finally hit upon the perfect feeling that I want as my guide through 2020.

I’d thought of joy, serenity, wonder, amusement, sparkly…and lighthearted covers them all. This year has been SO damned serious, both globally, locally, online, personally; I’m ready for a whole lot less of that.

What feeling comes to mind for you?

©Pip Miller – January 2020

 

Journal · Misc

Beautiful Twitter Thread About 9/11 Service Dogs

Make sure you have tissues nearby when you read it.

Search and Rescue Dogs

That’s all. I thought it needed to be spread across the internet, not just on Twitter.

Carry on. 😉

©Pip Miller – September 2019

Misc

Existential Angst

A couple months ago I turned 56, and all the thoughts in my head that had building for a few years completely exploded in my head, diving me into some deep existential angst. Things that I’d never worried about were now front and center, and I’m not liking this at all.

So many whys.

From the vast, such as why are we here? What is the point of our existence? Why do we push and struggle so hard when the vast majority of us won’t leave any mark at all? Why do we do anything if it doesn’t mean anything? And if it doesn’t mean anything, does that mean that it should mean something to us to give this life meaning??

To things such as, why have we gone from mostly supportive blogging communities to instant social media sites that are making so many of us miserable and stressed? Why is fast so important? Why isn’t deeper communication meaningful anymore? Why is everyone staring at their phones all the time, even when walking down the street? Why is being constantly connected online so important now?

To the menial things that now drive me nuts daily. WHY are there so many trinkets in my house that I keep even though I barely look at them?? Why is there so much clutter?? Why do I save things on my computer when I am so much an ‘out of sight, out of mind’ person?

It all comes down to one question:

What is the point of it all???

Rilke famously wrote, “Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.”

I’m trying, but it feels like the wheel is spinning faster and faster, and the questions get bigger and deeper…as well as more inane at times. And i don’t feel any closer to the answers, do you?

Pip

©Pip Miller – May 2019

Journal · Misc

In 2019 I want to feel…

My word for next year is, as mentioned before, transformation, but how I want to feel is just as important, thanks to Danielle LaPorte. Last night I was pondering the idea, and “lighter” popped into my head. Lighter physically, emotionally… just in every way. Life has become heavy and I want to let that go.

“Comfort” was the next word, and then another popped in, and before I knew it the words from the definition of hygge that I found “comfort, joy, and courage” completed the list. Four simple words that mean so much to me.

And the thing is, by feeling those three words, I’ll feel lighter, too!

Do you use feelings as your guiding light in life? Not in the Law of Attraction way, but just as signposts to help you along your path? What words come to mind for next year?

©Pip Miller – December 2018

PS: On Twitter GetGonetheMovi1 posted a response to Ed Solomon’s tweet concerning the correct pronunciation of Happy New Year (I can’t find his tweet now and suspect it was deleted because people took it seriously), and now I can’t get it out of my head. I’ve been adding specific calendars to it, so, Joyous Gregorian Calendar Renewal to you! 🙂 Let’s hope next year is better beyond imagination!

Books · Journal · Misc

A Month of Prompts

Amanda, of MagnoliaYogaBr , sent out her first newsletter with monthly prompts in quite a few years. I’m so excited!!!

Yesterday the prompt was “Perfect Day”. And it was! Mornings have taken on a routine, starting with feeding the cat, then then dogs, and now the crows and the birds. The crows came back to the neighborhood on the 30th (timing), and they call out when they come in the mornings, waking me and starting my day.

Usually we babysit on Thursday, but didn’t yesterday, so I was able to sit outside and read…something I haven’t done almost all summer because of the heat. I’m just beginning “Shadow of Night” by Deborah Harkness, and I’m loving this series!! History, witches, vampires, daemons…it’s got it all.

Today’s prompt is “Take Steps”. Doing these prompts here is a big step. I’ve fallen out of the habit of writing, and my domain name needs to be renewed sometime this month, so responses (and clients) will give me a reading and tell me whether to keep it all or let it go.

Do you want to join along? The link to sign up for the newsletter is in Amanda’s bio!

With hope,

Pip

©Pip Miller – November 2018

ETS: I forgot to add the hashtags she uses! #cultivatewellness #writewellness