Energy Healing · Health · Dry Life · Journal

In my head, it’s fall

It must be because of the quiet, cozy, slice-of-life blogs I’ve been reading. I get lost in reading about cups of tea, cool mornings, comfy sweaters, and then look up it’s and blinding sunlight and nearly 100F. Maybe I belong in the Pacific Northwest. I wouldn’t be able to take the muggy, sticky summers of New England anymore: 3 decades of life in the high desert southwest has me feeling that 25% is high humidity. *snort*

BTW, that whole “it’s a dry heat” thing? Hot is hot. Believe me. And honestly, as uncomfortable as 100F is here, 90F in NE with 100% humidity is brutal. Suffocating, even.

I had so many things to do today, and instead I feel as if there isn’t a drop of energy anywhere in my body. I sent my sister light for her birthday, and that perked me up for a while. Days like this make me wonder how I’m going to do back in the workforce – a necessity that I continue to block out on one level, acting as if Tuesday won’t come. Instead I keep adding up in my head how many clients it would take for me to be able to stay home, and then getting sad again.

Glaring at me until I feed her

The cat has decided that she needs to be fed 3x a day, a decision I vehemently disagree with, especially since I’d been feeding her dry food for a while and it always makes her gain weight. She loves Fancy Feast (the wheat-free ones) so much that she’d happily eat a can every few hours. Ain’t happening. So now she perches on the small table and stares at me, hoping that will guilt me into feeding her. Nope.

My Dry July partner didn’t even make it a day, so that’s a blow. I’ll have to be that much more determined, and more of anything but rest is not something for which I have spoons or bandwidth. So very, very many forks and not a spoon in sight.

And now it’s time to figure out dinner. Ramen, anyone?

With hope and love,

Pip 🌻✨🫖

©Pip Miller – July 2022

Health · Journal

“It’s the depression…”

If you’ve followed along for a bit, you know I haven’t been feeling like my usual self for quite a few years, and it’s been worse recently. Had a chat with my doctor, and we’re doing some tests for a few things, but when I was mentioning how I’ve always been strong and had a brain, she said, “It’s the depression. It affects everything. The brain fog is your mind trying to escape…”

Photo by Kat Smith on Pexels.com

One, she’d never mentioned depression before, and two, that blew my mind. I had never heard it put that way, and it really hit home. The past 7 years have been so, so difficult – and my health started going downhill fairly quickly. The last 18 months sent it all over the edge: I had my month-long “breakdown” in July after 6 of the absolute most traumatic and stressful months in my entire life, and as I’ve mentioned before, I haven’t recovered and I don’t think I ever will. No wonder my brain wants to hide.

The weirdest thing happened after I left her office; the depths of my depression showed itself, and I saw how much I’d been hiding it from myself and everyone else. Well, mostly. The edges have peeked out in my writing and social media, but overall I had no clue that I’m not even treading water any more, I’m sinking.

I hate meds because if there’s a reaction to be had, I’ll have it, so we didn’t discuss anything like that. My friend Kellianne gave me a card reading a couple years ago, and in it she wrote, “Use your depression as a soft place to land and heal…” The though is so soothing, and at the same time I have no idea how to do that. There is so much on my plate and no way to let any of it go. There should be more, but I honestly haven’t been able to make myself go in search of a job, and that’s scary. You don’t get paid to have a breakdown, ya know?

I have a lot to think about, a lot to process, and being gentle with myself and my feelings is at the top of the list. I know there are a ton of resources out there (so, please, no links; thank you, but it’s too much right now), and right now all I can do is sit with this new knowledge and take each moment as it comes. Tiny steps. Tiny freak-outs. Tiny joys. Tiny laughs. Tiny everything.

Because anything bigger is overwhelming.

With love and hope,

Pip 🌻🦩

PS: sending light always cheers me up and brings me joy. If you need help but can’t afford to purchase a session, I’m happy to take donations via Venmo. Send me a wave, and we’ll get your session set up.

©Pip Miller – June 2022

Caregiving · Energy Healing · Health · Journal · Misc

Too many forks, not enough spoons

I came up with that phrase a few years ago (or whenever it was that I read the fork theory), and it so applies to my life right now. Lots of responsibilities (many of which I am simply letting drop to the wayside, though they need to be taken care of), and worry, so much worry. I’m stressed beyond words because it looks like there’s absolutely no way I can avoid re-entering the workforce, even though that pitchfork will send me crashing. And that means the physical pain (especially the new one) will cause issues that most likely will cause me to lose yet another job, and the thought of all of it has me on edge and running out of spoons almost before I even get out of bed (thanks, kitty, and your “I’m awake, why aren’t you, the sun is almost up and I need to be fed even though there’s food in my bowl” meowing every morning).

Photo by Dids on Pexels.com Not my cat

I keep pretending something magical will happen and my schedule will be filled with retainer plans, and lots of 3-session packages, and everything will be fine. In reality, unless I win the lottery, I’m screwed. The clock is ticking and I can’t avoid what must be done anymore. The thought makes me want to scream and burst into tears because being let go from a job due to your body rebelling against whatever the hell it’s rebelling against makes a person feel like a failure. And means more frickin’ interviews, pushing myself to be extroverted when I’m far from it, and the whole damned merry-go-round. Again.

Then there’s the caregiver worries, such as what if he falls while I’m at work? What if he’s having one of the days where he can barely get out of bed or walk? How will he eat when he can’t make it to the kitchen? What if it’s a good day and he decides to go into the garage and hurts himself trying to do something he still thinks he can do no problem, but it leaves him immobilized for days, and I have to leave him alone for those days?

No wonder I can’t sleep lately. That and the fact that the minute I get comfortable and start to fall asleep, my legs decide it’s party time. Sigh.

Luckily I’ve been able to distract myself a bit with a Firefly marathon, lots of reading, and 3 sessions for someone with chronic migraines. Today (Sunday) is her last session. She’s away from home, so I haven’t been able to check in and see how it’s going on her end, but I know the energetic flow is really strong on mine.

I hope you’re all doing ok!

With hope and love,

Pip 🌻✨

PS: all 30-minute sessions (except for the Retainer Plan) are still 45-minutes for the same price until the end of May! Get your session(s) here!

PPS: I’m trying very hard to live by this quote I found recently (and foolishly didn’t write down who said/wrote it or what book it was in):

Bring me peace with what comes,

and until it comes,

peace with what is.

Energy Healing · Health · Journal

It’s a gorgeous spring day

And I’m sitting in bed. Yesterday I was running an errand, and out of the blue my hips and legs decided they were done with the endeavor. I barely made it to the car, and getting in and out of it was extremely difficult. Fibromyalgia is an umbrella term for a cornucopia of symptoms, and I’m not sure if this is part of it, or it’s something completely new and different. Fun. Not.

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

I really want to go outside and sit in the sun, especially since the air is ok today. The fires to the north of us are horrible, and I can’t even imagine trying to breathe in the smoke. It’s particularly disturbing because spring in New Mexico basically means ‘windy’, and with everything so dry, the fires have a lot to feed on. I hope they can get them under control, but it’s not looking good.

I haven’t been sending much light since I decided to stop offering to help for free, and this does not make me happy at all. Every time I tweet that it “fills me with joy” to help others, I’m not just saying that; it really does. It’s like the light/energy flowing through me also gives me a boost, too…and I miss it. A lot.

I’m still certain that my retainer plan is one hell of an amazing deal, but I haven’t forgotten that single sessions are important, too. I just want to help; that’s really what it comes down to.

I think I may see if I can make it to the porch and read for a while. Be safe out there, everyone…and please, wear your masks. You may not think it’s important for you, but it is for the vulnerable around you. We depend on each other, so let’s be kind and take care of others by being smart ourselves, ok?

With hope and love,

Pip 🌻✨

©Pip Miller – May 2022

Dry Life · Energy Healing · Health

Sleepy sweet Saturday

I’m sitting by the window, clouds moving in, breeze tickling my bare arms with bits of cold…and I feel awful. Asthma attack yesterday in the wee hours and I’m still trying to breathe normally and I’ve had a headache ever since. It’s too chilly for me to sit outside, so this is my compromise. I had errands planned, but that’s not going to happen. I might not even shower.

Nah, I will. It’ll warm me up.

I woke early, fed the zoo (three animals can be a zoo, correct?), and then sent light to a dog in Canada. It’s interesting how I’ll get a feeling or thought while sending that I need to switch up the hand placements before I’m finished, and this morning the paw I was working with became the hindquarters, which took in more light than the paw. Limping can cause the hips (hindquarters in animals) to compensate and become themselves a bit off, and I’ve also read that dogs hold their stress in that area. Whatever the reason, this pet needed the light there, and I have no idea how I knew that -and I don’t need to know how, but it’s still curious to me. Intuition? Subconscious information from the universe? Who knows. It’s always right, though, that much I do know.

I have a post coming up that will be about the retainer I just finished (not sure how to describe that better). It’ll be DMs I exchanged with the cat’s owner, and in them you’ll see how I work with the client, how I do the lightwork, how sometimes the ‘verse doesn’t give me info and I have to work out what’s best on my own (the nerve! 😂)and also, best of all, the feedback from Albus’ owner, Cheri!

Enjoy your weekend! I’m off to read this sobriety resource blog on Holly Whitaker’s site.

With love and hope,

Pip ✨🌻

PS: I’ve been scrolling through Tumblr – and scrolling and scrolling – and while I know it’s a learning curve and it’s not quite as straightforward as Twitter, FB, or IG, I love it there. I’m Eavesdown Abbey, if you want to check out my feed.

©Pip Miller – April 2022

Divination · Dry Life · Energy Healing · Health · Journal

They say it’s your birthday

And it is! I can’t wrap my head around being 59 today; that number just does not compute. There’s a disconnect between how I feel mentally and the actual number of years I’ve lived…the usual story.

My tarot card for this year is the Hermit, which, according to this episode of Cardslingers Coast-to-Coast, is about self-care; a take on it that’s new to me, but one that is really fitting right now. I found this on Tumblr which was a bit of a light-bulb moment:

Puts a bit of a different spin on it, don’t you think? Self-care seems…optional, but system maintenance is necessary or everything goes to shit, right? Mind blown.

My major system maintenance is the ongoing quest for sobriety. A year ago, and probably a few others over time, I wrote about my problem with alcohol. It’s a generational thing in my family, and unfortunately I made the decision to go back down that path nearly (this makes me cringe with shame) a quarter of a century ago after staying sober for over 3 years. I didn’t accomplish my goal last year, but I never give up the battle. I’ve learned that just declaring “I quit. No more!” doesn’t work, and I’m not fond of the prevailing group idea, so I need other things to keep me on the path.

So I used birthday money to splurge on The Hero’s Journal. I’d just watched this…

And the journal just seemed like the perfect way to do that. And it’s fun! My evil wizard Drinko is called The Beer Bitch, btw.

So Happy Birthday to me, the quest is on!

With hope and love,

Pip 🌻✨

BTW, I fixed all the links in posts and pages back to 2017. There’s more to do, but I’m nearly finished! I also reconfigured some of the pages, names, etc, to better streamline the website and what I do. If you haven’t before, check out the website! I’d love to help you feel better!

PS: Another fabulous journal to help you accomplish your goals is The Map by Claudia Wair.

PPS: Have I mentioned how much I love Tumblr? I’m sure I have, but it bears repeating.

Energy Healing · Health · Journal

A tremor crash? What’s that?

I have had essential tremor for, oh wow, just shy of 30 years. It was after my divorce, two moves across country, and a lot of stress, which can trigger tremors that you didn’t even know you have. Essential tremor tends to run in families, and no one I was aware of had it (my son does now). I was playing pool with friends and someone commented on my shaky hands, which I hadn’t even noticed. Did some library research and came across ET.

During stressful times it gets really bad, interfering with just about everything because my hands are shaking so bad that I can’t even hold a glass of water.

Food can set them off, though I’ve not really been able to nail down what foods in particular because one day I’ll be fine eating something and a few days later the same exact food has a completely different effect. It’s bewildering.

Photo by Alexandr Podvalny on Pexels.com

The last two years they’ve calmed to manageable (except for the occasional food disruption), mainly because my overall stress calmed. I’ve been home, without a schedule or any expectations beyond getting through the pandemic. But this year things have been more stressful as people get “back to normal”, and as a result, my tremors are acting up again.

Years ago I noticed that there are times when they are so bad that my entire body feels like it’s buzzing, and when the tremors finally calm down, I’m exhausted. Fried. A wet noodle. And if I’m lucky, I’m able to go to bed, sleep, and recuperate. That’s what I call a tremor crash.

And now there’s a new addition to the problem; inhalers. I have asthma and inhalers intensify the tremors (nebulizers are insane! I shake out of control for 4 hours). So I’ll wake up, use the inhaler, the tremors kick in, and then I’ll eat. Some days all is well, the tremors chill, and I’m good to go.

Today, today…wow. it was bad. The tremors, the inhaler, the food I ate; I was on super-buzz. We had to run errands, I was coughing a lot from the asthma, had to use the rescue inhaler, and things got really bad. I was shaking so much that I was having difficulty breathing (more than normal), which isn’t something that’s happened before. I made it to the bedroom when we got home and fell asleep for a few hours. I’m still feeling weak and shaky, but I can breathe ok.

All this did, besides freaking me out a lot, was intensify my determination to work from home, to actually make a living from, if need be, my bed. I cannot have something like this happen at a job, right? You may have noticed some changes on the website, such as returning to This Healing Hobbit’s Life. I jump in without thinking things through, and I suddenly realized that I simply needed to make a few changes and not mess with whatever internet following I have. Sometimes it just takes me a while to get the point. lol

Check out the Essential Tremor website (March is National Essential Tremor Awareness Month, too); you’d be surprised how many people have it and don’t even know it.

And as always, I hope to be of service for you and/or your pets!

With hope and love,

Pip 🌻✨

©Pip Miller – February 2022

Energy Healing · Health · Journal

Brain Fog Central

Every week I write ‘blog’ in my planner. And every week I have zero idea what to write about. Even if something comes to mind, when I sit down to start typing; poof, it’s gone. The same goes for the newsletter I was going to resurrect. Blank. My mind has left the building, taking all the notes, quotes, and inspiration with it in a rolling red suitcase. And I’ve no idea where it is.

It also seems to have snuck all my energy in there, because it’s the same with to-do lists; I write them, I fully intend to achieve them…and the effort is just too much. I know being anemic contributes to that, but still, it’s as if all I can do is get through each day and hope a good night’s sleep will refresh me and kick things back into gear. So far, it’s not happening.

OH, and get this. Remember this post, “Laters, Alcohol!” (still a work in progress, sadly)? In it I wrote that I was about to start my 60th year of life, aka, turning 59 (I’ve since fixed that). I had a dr’s appointment Thursday, the type that requires a medical bracelet, and that night I was looking at the bracelet and noticed that they’d mistakenly written that I was 58. Then I looked at my birthdate, did quick match, and son of a…somehow I managed to get my own age wrong! That’s how foggy my brain is lately.

I noticed lately that I’ve been scrolling through Twitter for way too long every day, and I removed it from my phone. I don’t know if it was a subconscious attempt to kick my brain into gear with all the information, or if all that information was overwhelming my brain and contributing to the inability to think straight. I suspect a bit of both, but I’m pretty positive the overwhelm was real. I still have Instagram (on an old phone; it creeps me out that it works on my usual phone even if blocked by the firewall), but one: I don’t follow as many people there, and two: picture-posting isn’t as frequent as tweeting, so I spend a lot less time scrolling. I really enjoy accounts that show real life, and aren’t just for marketing. I’ve also removed other ‘mindless scrolling’ accounts from my phone and caught myself wondering ‘Now what do I do??” yesterday. Because somehow reading books had fallen to the wayside in favor of what’s on my devices, even Hoopla and Kindle. And I have a room full of books to read!

It’s almost as if I’ve forgotten who I am, and need to find my way back to me. Does anyone else feel that way? Removing the digital accessibility is going to take adjusting to (which, coming from me, who tries to be all about safety and using encrypted email and texting, is a bit ironic), but it’s getting warmer so I’ll be able to sit outside and read in the sun again. I can send light while outside, too, and that always makes my day.

How has the pandemic affected you? I really thought that I was doing ok, because while I stayed home most of the time, NM was very aggressive about dealing with the restrictions and masks, so I was able to go shopping and get out of the house. It felt like normal life. But it really hasn’t been, and I wonder how long it will take before we all are hit with PTSD and in what forms it will manifest?

Be safe, take care of yourself!

Much love,

Pip 🙂

©Pip Miller – March 2021

Energy Healing · Health · Journal

Hello, Spring!!!!

I love spring. It’s the brief time before the weather gets so hot here in New Mexico that sitting outside to read isn’t happening. The wind, well…the wind is spring here. It’s worth it.

It’s also the time of the liver. Time to be gentle with it and take care of it. I recently read Wheat Belly (again) and Grain Brain (wow) because I noticed certain symptoms when I went back to regular eating after doing my best to eat plant-based for a while. So it seems the perfect time to drop the wheat and see what happens. I have a friend doing the same, and we’ll support each other, yay!

Great photo, wish I knew who to credit.

The biggest news is that I’m tweaking my focus a bit more to working with animals. The horse I’ve been helping made it through the winter and the polar vortex without any problems, and I love how easily animals respond to the lightwork. They say to find your niche and I think this is mine. I still love helping people so much, but this decision feels really good.

Here’s to a wonderful spring, lots of rain (fingers crossed), and wheat-free belly! lol

Much love,

Pip

©Pip Miller – March 2021

Energy Healing · Health · Journal

Stress and Covid-19

Well, my attempt at a 30-day digital detox didn’t last for than a moment; I’m at high risk concerning the virus and I couldn’t step away from the news and how things are going worldwide and here in NM. This is me (not literally) reading Twitter and the news daily:

Image from palife.co.uk

Add to that the loss of income, and issues with social distancing, and I’ve been really, really stressed. I keep wanting to offer any and every one distance sessions, but people seem to feel that others deserve it more than they, or that it’s only for serious issues. And frankly, it feels wrong to charge for the sessions knowing a huge, huge portion of people are in the same check-to-check life, or are now without an income, too. It’s a bit of a Catch-22, ya know?

There’s that curse, “May you live in interesting times”, and boy, are we ever. All we can do is support, encourage, and listen to each other (from a distance). One of my favorite Firefly quotes is this:

Tracey: “When you can’t run, you crawl. And when you can’t crawl, when you can’t do that … “
Zoe: ” … you find someone to carry you.”

Let’s carry each other in whatever way we can.

With hope and love,

Pip 🙂

©Pip Miller – March 2020